I stopped for several pairs of deers as I drove through the reserve on the way to the Vancouver ferry. When I stopped, I connected with the presence and heart of them, whether they were making eye contact with me or not. I’ve been practising learning how to do this for a long time, not only with animals but things and people and invisible realities as well.
Recently, when Lucas, my son’s beagle chased after a deer and got lost in East Sooke wilderness for 2 days, I had to fight through my fear and guilt to find the still place where I could make contact with him. During the night I could hear him baying, but he was too far away to hear me call. In fact, I found out that it confuses them further when you call, as sounds seems to be coming from everywhere.
I could feel his heart, tired and panicked. His body was exhausted and cold, as the temperatures dove to freezing and snow was covering all known scents. It was when I used my telepathy to make contact with him, that I experienced a definite energetic connection. I felt his relief, his delight, like he’d been found. I saw him looking around for me, kinda confused. I kept sending him reassurance and healing and surrounded him in warmth and protection. Lots of deer, cougars, wolves and bears in those woods. I called on my brother and father to watch him in spirit and prayed to many helpers. I was touched deeply as they both connected with me.
I did find him on the road, thanks to local people looking for him, later the next day. I did not call him, simply went over and offered him a treat. Without words, he followed me to the car where I lifted him in. Little did I know, or maybe I did, that he would soon be in spirit as his brain tumour and seizures would become too much to bear.
On the way to the ferry, I also saw a squashed red squirrel and as I have been taught, prayed for it with the same love I felt towards Lucas. I do this for all ‘roadkill’ and many a pieces of garbage and fragments of tires have I blessed.
Finally, on the highway to the ferry, I was speeding along when I saw a raccoon lying dead against a barrier. I felt sad. I was praying for it and calling in help to help her on her journey back to the Great Mother of All. Then ‘contact’ was made. The racoon wasn’t dead and felt me connecting with her. Immediately I felt her grief. Her pain and agony. I merged with her as I had with Lucas. I wept.
I chose to stay in contact with her, offering her comfort, being a sacred witness to her, that she existed, she mattered and to my surprise, I felt her dying babies in her womb did as well. I did all I could in my power and called on the Powers to Be, to let her release her body, and go with her babies into Spirit.
I felt/knew that she was holding on for them, the mother’s instinct, the love for them. Connecting to Great Love helped me turn my grief into loving presence for her, otherwise, it would be about me and that would be useless for her.
I could have pulled away, to cut myself off from merging, from feeling, from ‘being’ with her but I chose not to. It was my duty, because I can, to hold her in my heart. I am strong enough to do this because I can feel pain, fear and grief deeply without bolting and abandoning myself or others who are in it.
It’s my nature. And I’ve developed it.
I thought about stopping, phoning the nearest vet, calling animal control, but I had to catch the ferry and I knew my job was done. Because as I was nearing the ferry, I refocused on her and felt the shift. She no longer was embodied, her pain and suffering had ended. I still felt sad for her, her kits, all animals, all beings, for the planet, and for myself though.
But then I was the last car to get on the ferry, and I felt happy and life continued on.
Soon I would be with my grandbabies, celebrating life through the ritual of the fourth birthday celebrations, with the musical Frozen two – Show yourself- Be who you are – would play continuously in the background.
Learning to trust my experiences, my psychic nature, my feelings, above all other people’s interpretations of them has been one of my lifelong lessons. I still receive the same looks of contempt, the judgement of unasked for rational interpretations and outright being made wrong and crazy. But they don’t override my belief in myself or put cracks in my perceptions.
I have learnt that I can ‘out explain’ their explanations. I can meet them in their limitations of consciousness and call them on their assumptions, judgements and closed minds and challenge them to examine them. I ask questions that push at the fences of their reality grids. I find out often their responses are not their hallowed rational minds but their rationalizations of things they’ve chosen to align with.
I can also delve into their primary intentions and relay back to them, their denial, their self-abandonment and disarm their defences. Basically, I can follow them anywhere they can go. Yet, I must also discern if rocking their boat would collapse a very fragile grip on reality, so I ask if I can ask, first. And still speak from spirit as much as I can, so it’s appropriate and healing rather than violating and shaming. Love is always the answer, and everyone gets to be where they are at.
Whatever is not love is a call for love. I believe that there are not any coincidences. I know that we meet those who are teaching the very thing we need to know in the moment. I see life as a metaphor and all things that come into our reality are reflections of something that we are becoming aware of, gaining consciousness within it and finding our own truth around it. Usually we all do this by letting go of a lot of false beliefs and tortured born conditioning.
Those whose fear runs their lives, their minds and imprisons their own hearts and minds and make it into an attack and destroy upon me, I figure I am encountering them, like a can opener, saying, “ Hello,hello, anyone home?”
They tend to be highly toxic and they are seldom embodied, living in their heads, so to speak. Those still needing to be there, often not only have to be right but they have the right in defining and defending a soulless reality for all of us. When their hatred and intention to all intuitive, feeling, right brain reality grids reflects a massive inner conflict they refuse to heal, I can choose to look straight into their masks, their power- over agenda and say, “ HOW DARE YOU! “
For I am a soulseer, and I see the trapped spirit, down at the lake of longing, on the log of despair, waiting, waiting, to be. I cannot not merge with them and offer them solace and presence as well.